First of all, this is a bit of a pity party.
I managed to take the GRE on Thursday. It was misadventure after misadventure to finally find the place, and have my ID to start the test, but I finally got to take it. Looks like I got pretty mediocre scores, so I guess we'll see how that goes for Grad School applications.
I got another round of job rejection emails this past week as well.
This morning I had the ridiculous idea that figuring out my tax refund would put me in a better mood. It did not. I only made 81% of what I made in 2008... and I wasn't close to making a million dollars that year. My refund doesn't look as bad as originally though (freaked out over), but it isn't as much as last year either.
It is enough, however, to possibly cover the cost of a Motorcycle safety course that Dr Bravo wants us to take together. He didn't make it to Karaoke Thursday night, but we have "plans" to hang out this evening.
Well, I'm off to apply for more jobs.
Lemon out
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
Study Time
I don't want to be studying any more. My GRE is scheduled for Thursday at 8am. EW.
Its two more study days away. The Dr offered to help distract me if needed, which is the best offer I've gotten in a long time! Who needs study help when people are offering distractions!
He also said he'll join a few friends and I for Karaoke Thursday evening, as a possible celebratory and/or commiseratory event.
So, all in all progress has been made with boys and with math.
Or I guess we'll get my scores in 10-15 days.
Its two more study days away. The Dr offered to help distract me if needed, which is the best offer I've gotten in a long time! Who needs study help when people are offering distractions!
He also said he'll join a few friends and I for Karaoke Thursday evening, as a possible celebratory and/or commiseratory event.
So, all in all progress has been made with boys and with math.
Or I guess we'll get my scores in 10-15 days.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Maybe a little early to tell
So, Just got home from a nice long evening with the Dr.
He called Tuesday afternoon to check to see if I was dieing from my hangover (pshaw, please, no hangover here!) and to make sure someone was able to get me back to my car. Brownie points for the check in call. Not even a text, a call!
Today was a really slow day on the unemployment front. REALLY SLOW. I even began reorganizing my room to a point where it might be conceived of as decorating. Oh, plus you can see the floor. So, about 4:00 or so, I texted him saying I was super bored. He texted back that he was at work but could meet up with me later.
As much fun as I had with him Monday night at the bar, knowing that we had great conversation, I can't remember exactly every word I said... and wonder if maybe I over shared on a thing or two. So I thought perhaps I'd like to do something... sober.
We eventually decided to meet at starbucks. I went a little early, so to order my own drink first and pay for it myself. I don't need him thinking I need or expect him to pay all the time. I played with my Nintendo DS (NY Times Crossword puzzle game) as I waited for him, and he showed up just in time to help me finish off the last four or five clues.
(prove I'm autonomous. check.
Make him feel smart. check.)
We spent 6 hours talking. SIX HOURS!!! And it flew by. I haven't had so much to talk about with someone, and have it be intelligent conversation in a LONG time. Religion (I've actually found someone who shares religious beliefs with me... huh, strange), politics, philosophy, science (that was more along the lines of me listening), fast cars, fast motorcycles, the pros and cons of joining the army. We laughed a lot, both at ourselves and other people.
I'm a little nervous about my possible residency in Friendville though. Since we do have a platonic history, I wonder if we can overcome that into... anything.
Take, for instance, his offer to "bite the bullet and pretend to be with you" next time I have to deal with The Farmer so that we can make fun of him. Is that his way of inviting himself to hang out with my friends, so that he can sum up the type of guy I'm not interested in dating? Or is that a statement that he is not actually interested in anything other than bi-weekly 6 hour hang outs at places like bars and coffee shops, and being seen with me is possibly only slightly better than a poke in the eye?
I think I'll let him initiate the next get together. I still have his sweatshirt, so there's at least that.
I'm heading up to my family cabin for a couple of nights of girl fun with a good friend. I'm sure, with the best help, I'll dissect the crap out of every piece of conversation I can remember with the Dr from this week.
It is possible I'm getting a little a head of my self here... but:
The future Mrs Dr Lemon Out!
Editor's note The Farmer has been re dubbed Ex-Wife, since he girled out on me, and no longer plays silly facebook farming games. Sadly, he knows that I call him this, a friend slipped up in saying in front of his face with on the phone with me. Ugh, I hope he doesn't girl out more. He worries me sometimes.
He called Tuesday afternoon to check to see if I was dieing from my hangover (pshaw, please, no hangover here!) and to make sure someone was able to get me back to my car. Brownie points for the check in call. Not even a text, a call!
Today was a really slow day on the unemployment front. REALLY SLOW. I even began reorganizing my room to a point where it might be conceived of as decorating. Oh, plus you can see the floor. So, about 4:00 or so, I texted him saying I was super bored. He texted back that he was at work but could meet up with me later.
As much fun as I had with him Monday night at the bar, knowing that we had great conversation, I can't remember exactly every word I said... and wonder if maybe I over shared on a thing or two. So I thought perhaps I'd like to do something... sober.
We eventually decided to meet at starbucks. I went a little early, so to order my own drink first and pay for it myself. I don't need him thinking I need or expect him to pay all the time. I played with my Nintendo DS (NY Times Crossword puzzle game) as I waited for him, and he showed up just in time to help me finish off the last four or five clues.
(prove I'm autonomous. check.
Make him feel smart. check.)
We spent 6 hours talking. SIX HOURS!!! And it flew by. I haven't had so much to talk about with someone, and have it be intelligent conversation in a LONG time. Religion (I've actually found someone who shares religious beliefs with me... huh, strange), politics, philosophy, science (that was more along the lines of me listening), fast cars, fast motorcycles, the pros and cons of joining the army. We laughed a lot, both at ourselves and other people.
I'm a little nervous about my possible residency in Friendville though. Since we do have a platonic history, I wonder if we can overcome that into... anything.
Take, for instance, his offer to "bite the bullet and pretend to be with you" next time I have to deal with The Farmer so that we can make fun of him. Is that his way of inviting himself to hang out with my friends, so that he can sum up the type of guy I'm not interested in dating? Or is that a statement that he is not actually interested in anything other than bi-weekly 6 hour hang outs at places like bars and coffee shops, and being seen with me is possibly only slightly better than a poke in the eye?
I think I'll let him initiate the next get together. I still have his sweatshirt, so there's at least that.
I'm heading up to my family cabin for a couple of nights of girl fun with a good friend. I'm sure, with the best help, I'll dissect the crap out of every piece of conversation I can remember with the Dr from this week.
It is possible I'm getting a little a head of my self here... but:
The future Mrs Dr Lemon Out!
Editor's note The Farmer has been re dubbed Ex-Wife, since he girled out on me, and no longer plays silly facebook farming games. Sadly, he knows that I call him this, a friend slipped up in saying in front of his face with on the phone with me. Ugh, I hope he doesn't girl out more. He worries me sometimes.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
only one drink too many, i promise!
So, last night I suggested to Dr Bravo that we go get that beer he had mentioned last week. He replied "absolutely!" and we figured out which bar to meet at (he wanted to beat me at pool), and when.
I vaguely told my mom i was going out for the night (she was ok with this, then left me a not about harvesting her farmville when i got home on my laptop), then headed out for a game of bar festivities or two.
I met the Dr at a bar that had been renamed several times over the years, we played a game or two (i only won on technicalities) and i drank beer after beer after beer, as he kept pouring them for me. Eventually some sort of organized tournament started, and we had to migrate to the back of the bar (maybe the word was meander), and we continued to converse and discuss things such as science, religion, medicine, psychiatry, and life experiences. I let him know if he asked specific questions he would get specific answers, and also that he had pumped enough alcohol into me that i was actually likely to get honest answers as well.
I can't remember the last time a boy... no, man asked me such interesting questions, and despite my inebriated state, have i answered so eloquently. or many that was just the beer. but it was good beer, so i assume they were good answers.
He knew a few people at the bar, conversed with them, introduced me, and overall we had a great time.
I was in such a state that driving myself home wasn't a good idea, so he dropped me off. On the way home he offered me (and i took) his sweatshirt, and offered to bring me back to the bar if i needed such vehicular assistance tomorrow. I hopefully will find someone to drive me out to get my car sometime in the early afternoon, when i finally wake.
On the way out the bar, a girl i had met (someone's girlfriend, jen, maybe) asked if i was going home with [dr bravo], and when i said no, she seemed disappointed. then asked if maybe next time. Knowing that my personal convictions weren't the social norms, i answered "maybe" and she seemed appeased.
No kiss goodnight, but then again, his loud and large truck didn't really facilitate such... but maybe i didn't give it enough effort. Sometimes i miss the signs to such an opportunity. Maybe i missed out, but i think he seemed to understand that i wasn't quite myself.
I really did have a wonderful time. I'm glad to have spend some time with someone i knew, and haven't known since 8 years ago. So much more to explain, and yet, sleep calls me.
yay! Dr bravo might just be... great!
lemon... vadka'd
I vaguely told my mom i was going out for the night (she was ok with this, then left me a not about harvesting her farmville when i got home on my laptop), then headed out for a game of bar festivities or two.
I met the Dr at a bar that had been renamed several times over the years, we played a game or two (i only won on technicalities) and i drank beer after beer after beer, as he kept pouring them for me. Eventually some sort of organized tournament started, and we had to migrate to the back of the bar (maybe the word was meander), and we continued to converse and discuss things such as science, religion, medicine, psychiatry, and life experiences. I let him know if he asked specific questions he would get specific answers, and also that he had pumped enough alcohol into me that i was actually likely to get honest answers as well.
I can't remember the last time a boy... no, man asked me such interesting questions, and despite my inebriated state, have i answered so eloquently. or many that was just the beer. but it was good beer, so i assume they were good answers.
He knew a few people at the bar, conversed with them, introduced me, and overall we had a great time.
I was in such a state that driving myself home wasn't a good idea, so he dropped me off. On the way home he offered me (and i took) his sweatshirt, and offered to bring me back to the bar if i needed such vehicular assistance tomorrow. I hopefully will find someone to drive me out to get my car sometime in the early afternoon, when i finally wake.
On the way out the bar, a girl i had met (someone's girlfriend, jen, maybe) asked if i was going home with [dr bravo], and when i said no, she seemed disappointed. then asked if maybe next time. Knowing that my personal convictions weren't the social norms, i answered "maybe" and she seemed appeased.
No kiss goodnight, but then again, his loud and large truck didn't really facilitate such... but maybe i didn't give it enough effort. Sometimes i miss the signs to such an opportunity. Maybe i missed out, but i think he seemed to understand that i wasn't quite myself.
I really did have a wonderful time. I'm glad to have spend some time with someone i knew, and haven't known since 8 years ago. So much more to explain, and yet, sleep calls me.
yay! Dr bravo might just be... great!
lemon... vadka'd
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Math of Love
Apparently the way to get a guy to notice you, is to ask for help with math. It worked on CPR, hell, even Toaster used to think it was cute I needed so much math explanation. Maybe I'm just feeding into the male need to be the bigger, faster, stronger, smarter etc. I'm not saying I endorse this mindset in the long run, but a little flattery seems to help in the beginning.
Dr Bravo met me at the public library for about an hour of math review for my GRE test. I had been quite frustrated the previous few days on my inability to remember how to do basic math functions. Most of this is due to forgetting math vocab words. Ya know, Quotient, Factor, etc, but the good doctor was in, and helped remind me of what was going on.
On the way out the door he said to make sure to call if I needed any more help, or to just go get a beet sometime. I said I would, and that a beer would be fun.
I got in the car and immediately called a friend and said
"Remember how ridiculously good looking [Dr Bravo] was in high school?"
She replied "uuuuuh, yeah!"
"well, he's only gotten better looking."
Dr Bravo met me at the public library for about an hour of math review for my GRE test. I had been quite frustrated the previous few days on my inability to remember how to do basic math functions. Most of this is due to forgetting math vocab words. Ya know, Quotient, Factor, etc, but the good doctor was in, and helped remind me of what was going on.
On the way out the door he said to make sure to call if I needed any more help, or to just go get a beet sometime. I said I would, and that a beer would be fun.
I got in the car and immediately called a friend and said
"Remember how ridiculously good looking [Dr Bravo] was in high school?"
She replied "uuuuuh, yeah!"
"well, he's only gotten better looking."
Friday, January 8, 2010
Can't sleep
Good thing I've got a bunch of people around me to keep me exercising, and taking my vitamins, otherwise I'd stay in bed all day.
And what good does that do me? I'm always tired, and can't fall asleep. And its 3am when I start getting nostalgic about people I shouldn't. Would one text to CLBF really be that bad? Its always late at night that i miss him the most. Its when i can easily forget his faults, and dwell on the things I screwed up on.
But, even if I told him how much I still think about him... we still live several hundred miles apart and he still doesn't know or love Jesus.
I guess its times like these when I should be grateful I left my phone in my car. Heaven knows I'm not going outside at this hour.
Seriously, though, why have my sleep patterns altered so rapidly? Last week I couldn't sleep past 9, and I tried! This week its impossible to fall asleep before 2am.
I should try again here, since I've committed to running 3 miles tomorrow afternoon. Then Coffee with an old college buddy, then I'm cooking dinner for the group, and we're hittin up Karaoke as a birthday celebration!
Lemon awake...
And what good does that do me? I'm always tired, and can't fall asleep. And its 3am when I start getting nostalgic about people I shouldn't. Would one text to CLBF really be that bad? Its always late at night that i miss him the most. Its when i can easily forget his faults, and dwell on the things I screwed up on.
But, even if I told him how much I still think about him... we still live several hundred miles apart and he still doesn't know or love Jesus.
I guess its times like these when I should be grateful I left my phone in my car. Heaven knows I'm not going outside at this hour.
Seriously, though, why have my sleep patterns altered so rapidly? Last week I couldn't sleep past 9, and I tried! This week its impossible to fall asleep before 2am.
I should try again here, since I've committed to running 3 miles tomorrow afternoon. Then Coffee with an old college buddy, then I'm cooking dinner for the group, and we're hittin up Karaoke as a birthday celebration!
Lemon awake...
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Game Over, Replay?
I sure hope that 2010 goes a bit differently than 09. There are a few things that I would have done differently... boys... jobs... life. But, I can't and so as I stare down a new calendar year hoping that I've learned my lessons and will do things differently if given the chance.
I very much miss CLBF, but now know better than to let relationships go undefined for so long. Also, either not getting involved with people if there's an expiration date OR not setting expiration dates on relationships.
Perhaps my fleeting moments with CPR have taught me to date within my own religious/moral standards. He never admitted that it was the no sex thing that caused his disappearance, but everything else seemed to be going well. CLBF had been very patient with me, so I expected CPR to be so as well.
It reminds me of a character on a TV show that I enjoy. The female lead is an older woman, and gets knocked up by a younger man. I think it's obvious as to why I like this scenario... anyway, younger man is begins dating another girl, then decides he doesn't want to continue the relationship. While trying to figure out what to do, He says to Older female "I don't want her to think I'm a bad guy... so i just won't call her." TYPICAL!
I've also begun to really feel the recession... "they" say we're out of it, but I'd like to have a word with "them." Maybe "they" can pay my student loans while I'm still out of a job. Or, maybe I can have one of "their" jobs.
But I'm trying SO hard to enter 2010 with a positive attitude! I've even exercised twice this week! I've got plenty more jobs to research and apply for. I'll be heading to the Unemployment Services office Wednesday morning to get a good resume make over. And, I've scheduled a date for my GRE test. Its coming up quickly, and I'm looking forward to getting that over.
Also, I reconnected with a few people i knew in high school. That's what facebook is for, right?* Stalking people you used to know?! Ya, well, this was a guy that made many a heart flutter, and he's awaiting his acceptance into med school. AND through a quick catch up facebook chat session he offered to help me study the math section for the GREs. So, DR Bravo, I look forward to you helping me with my math issues.
Lemon Optimistic
* And, on new years day, I only spent a few minutes staring at CPR, CLBF, and Toaster's profiles... then facebook got taken away from me. Thats what real friends are for!
I very much miss CLBF, but now know better than to let relationships go undefined for so long. Also, either not getting involved with people if there's an expiration date OR not setting expiration dates on relationships.
Perhaps my fleeting moments with CPR have taught me to date within my own religious/moral standards. He never admitted that it was the no sex thing that caused his disappearance, but everything else seemed to be going well. CLBF had been very patient with me, so I expected CPR to be so as well.
It reminds me of a character on a TV show that I enjoy. The female lead is an older woman, and gets knocked up by a younger man. I think it's obvious as to why I like this scenario... anyway, younger man is begins dating another girl, then decides he doesn't want to continue the relationship. While trying to figure out what to do, He says to Older female "I don't want her to think I'm a bad guy... so i just won't call her." TYPICAL!
I've also begun to really feel the recession... "they" say we're out of it, but I'd like to have a word with "them." Maybe "they" can pay my student loans while I'm still out of a job. Or, maybe I can have one of "their" jobs.
But I'm trying SO hard to enter 2010 with a positive attitude! I've even exercised twice this week! I've got plenty more jobs to research and apply for. I'll be heading to the Unemployment Services office Wednesday morning to get a good resume make over. And, I've scheduled a date for my GRE test. Its coming up quickly, and I'm looking forward to getting that over.
Also, I reconnected with a few people i knew in high school. That's what facebook is for, right?* Stalking people you used to know?! Ya, well, this was a guy that made many a heart flutter, and he's awaiting his acceptance into med school. AND through a quick catch up facebook chat session he offered to help me study the math section for the GREs. So, DR Bravo, I look forward to you helping me with my math issues.
Lemon Optimistic
* And, on new years day, I only spent a few minutes staring at CPR, CLBF, and Toaster's profiles... then facebook got taken away from me. Thats what real friends are for!
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