Left foot in, Right foot out.

Sometimes I feel torn about this impending move. Friends here are sad that I'm leaving, but friends and family over there have been complaining about my absence for a few years now. I've missed every family event for almost three years, and yet I'll be giving up a lot of autonomy in just 9 days.

This is the right thing for me to do. There will be other boys (perhaps even men), and I'll still have the ability to come visit. This isn't goodbye forever. We have anonymous blogs, facebook, myspace, telephones, texting, and email to keep us connected. This isn't the last this city has seen of my face either.

The date with Ladder 20 was just amazing. We frolfed all around my alma matter, then sat in rocking chairs on the lawn and discussed life. He bought me frozen yogurt, then we walked back to my house where we played with my kitty, and he was given a bunt cake and instructions to write an essay on "How You Plan On Supporting My Roommate." He hasn't turned his essay in yet, but on the whole he's a quality young man, and I sure hope he finds a girl that deserves him. That is assuming I don't stuff him in my suitcase and drag him across the state with me. I'm still considering this option.

I've decided that I will text CLBF and invite him to my going away bbq next week, but am already ok with the probability that he will not come.

And now back to listening to Harry Potter.

The Escalator

Now, as much as I like riding escalators: one of the few transportation devices that doesn't leave me motion sick, sadly I'm not talking about moving stairs. Also, I am constantly freaked out that a shoelace will get stuck in one eventually, and carnage will ensue... even when i'm not wearing shoes with laces. I think that's a different post tho: my many irrational fears.

I'm talking about the person who always takes it to the next level. This can be either frustrating or fun, depending on the situation and persons involved.

Example 1: The Frustrating Escalator:
I have a friend, and we'll call him the Apostle. Apostle struggles with social norms and boundaries to begin with. He's at least broken the habit of door lurking, but rarely recognizes the cues that the evening/event is over. Also, after lots of bruises it became clear that horseplay is not fun with the Apostle. You poke him, he punches you. You give a playful shove, he tackles you to the ground. You grab a wrist or arm, he suddenly has you in a half-nelson. Yuck.
The Apostle also has the tendency to be lacking in clear direction in his life, and has taken to attempting everyone else's hobbies, and buying better equipment for them. I buy a camera, he gets a better one. Mutual friend one takes up the banjo, he also buys one. Mutual friend 2 starts brewing beer, Apostle claims this is his next feat!
The Apostle is an escalator in the most obnoxious form... the kind with money.

Example 2: The Flirtatious Escalator:
Ladder 20 has also proven to be an escalator. I mean, the whole marriage started over my declaration of ability to play frisbee, and he declares his undying love and proposes marriage.
It may just be that the difference between an annoying person and a someone you intend to flirt with, is their ability to read surroundings, and know when things are appropriate.
Don't get me wrong, most of the texts I've received from Ladder aren't really fit to be read out loud, but they are appropriate in the sense that they fit the conversation we'd been having. He seems to know when to say things out loud, and when to text them, hasn't tried to strangle me, nor tried to break my nose while rough-housing. I appreciate this.
While Ex-CLBF always accused me of flirting with him (a non-escalator, if i've ever met one), Ladder takes the ball and runs! I say lets have kids, next day he says we have four; I say I'm glad he's a firefighter, he mentions the size of his hose, etc etc etc.

All in all, escalators can either make life a whole lot of fun, or rather stressful. Here's hoping I get to deal with more flirts!
Lemon Out!

The Roar of the Cougar!

So, now that things have ended with CLBF, I am free to, ya know... upgrade to a newer model! That's right kids, at 26 years old, and with a little less than three weeks til I move 300 miles west, I've got a date with a 20 year old. He's a very nice, extremely funny young man, not to mention cuter than a button! We'll call him Ladder 20.

Ladder and I are going to frisbee golf (frolf) and get some ice cream on friday night. He's also started calling me "hun," which is a little more intimate than the normal things we call each other. Oh, he's my work husband, and so typically I just call him "husband," and he yells for "Wife!" There's a whole lot of laughter over the whole joke, but (insert freak out) what the hell am i going to do if Ladder actually has feelings for me!? What if he goes in for a kiss? Or wants more of a frolic than just frolfing?

Well, i suppose a little smooch isn't gonna hurt anyone... unless of course CLBF shows back up... but that's doubtful.

Also, now that i've learned to hyperlink, i might be out of control!

I Got Nerve!

Yup, that was a Hannah Montana quote!
Confession #1: I enjoy Disney Channel-esq tween sitcoms. HM, Zack and Cody, iCarly, etc etc etc. They're silly, and have predictable characters, but nonetheless, I like them.

Confession #2: I eat in bed. Almost exclusively. Rarely at the kitchen table, every once in a while in the livingroom, but typically I make my food (no matter how much prep goes into it) straight back to my bedroom. Sometimes there are crumbs, and I always leave my dirty dishes right next to the bed. Sometimes in the (empty) dresser drawers.

Confession #3: Even when people let me down, I set them, and myself, back up to try again. Even if the (probable) failure rate is very high. Stand me up? I'll set us up for another day/time! Not do what you said you would do? I won't confront you. I'm pretty sure this is in response to how my Mom deals with people when they disappoint her: she cuts them out of her life. Even when I've said "enough, i won't let people treat me so disrespectfully!" I'll melt right into the palm of your hands if you butter me up or promise not to do it again.

Confession #4: When I'm with people, I practically count down the hours til I'm home and alone. When I'm home and alone, I go stir crazy and want to be with people. There are expections to this rule... typically with the crush of the day.

Confession #5: I don't remember what I was originally going to blog about, or why I titled today's blog as such. Its been a long day of Super-Migraine, and I am a bit loopy.

I'm really enjoying my new computer. Got Itunes all setup today! but sadly I lost all my playlists, song ratings, and play counts. Sad Day.
Tomorrow mum and father are coming! Didn't do any packing today like planned, but instead lied on my bed writhing in headache agony and listened to Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I love HP.

Maybe the next post will be more coherent? doubt it!
Lemon Out!

Newest Financial Burdon!

I bought a new computer today. Smart? probably not. Awesome? definitely!

I'm not much for bragging about specs, but she's got a nice 400gb of memory to be filled! I take it as a personal challenge to do so.
Also, i'll get to work on editing a few hundred photos i've taken this summer.

Oh, and speaking of photos, if i don't get stood up (AGAIN!) Ex-Not-Boyfriend is going to let me take some photos of his 'Stang! I'm super excited. We've got plans to tomorrow evening, but he's kinda been known to disappear.

Well. I've got 40gigs of music to copy, and i suppose i should sleep. so here we go!

Lemon Out!

Headaches

My head hurts this evening.  I've been having these headaches for several years, although maybe i'm getting better at taking tylenol before they get too bad, because I haven't gotten sick from one in several months.  Not that acetametophin really gets rid of the entire headache, but it makes life livable.  Although apparently my favorite OTC drug is getting doled out in smaller doses based on its liver damage potential.  I like my liver and all... but i like having a clear head too.

I'm kinda in a complaining mood this evening, despite it being an overall good day.  Not-boyfriend left me hanging last night, but texted this morning.  I gave him some hangover remedy ideas, and offered to get him anything if he needed it, and he worte "lol thank you! you are too awesome to me." Really, he's right.  I know Jesus says to turn the other cheek, but sometimes it makes me feel like a doormat.  I also have the tendancy to expect the best out of people, as well as give them several more chances than they deserve... and I get walked all over.  I don't like being taken advantage of, but i do like thinking well of people.  

Well, since most of my thoughts this evening aren't turning into complete sentences, and this borrowed computer is about to die, I suppose its time to return it to my roommate, and wish the world of blogging goodnight!  

DNFO

Do Not Freak Out.

Sometimes I write these four letters on my wrist when I'm feeling anxious, and most of the time it helps me to stop, put things back into perspective, and then get on with life.  Its quite a genius coping mechanism, if you ask me.  Of course, there are some times that it just doesn't work, and a complete freak out is necessary.

Likely subjects of future Freak Out rants will include boys, relationships, work, job searches, aparatment searches, what I'm supposed to be doing with my life, how dirty my dishes get, budgets, friends, and other various frustrations.  

Currently I'm in the process of moving cities.  I'll likely end up in my parent's basement for a month or so, until I find a job and an apartment in the larger city.  I'll be moving 300 miles from my current residence, away from college friends, two years worth of co-workers, and a not-boyfriend.  I'll be moving closer to family, old friends, and hopefully some opportunities such as Grad School, or Art School, or being a bum.

Wait, what is a Not-Boyfriend, you may ask?!  Well, after I made the decision to move, i met a very nice looking and strapping young man.  And despite my upcoming move, we started seeing each other.  Apparently there was a night that he actually asked me out, but did so very covertly, and i didn't catch on, and therefore turned him down... and then realized my mistake way too late, and because i lack the ability to say things out loud (or avoid run-on sentences), we never became "official."  Now it didn't bother me to not have lables, but apparently it drove him crazy.  Which is kinda sweet.  And although we've been casually making out for the last 6 months, we decided to take a step back, and see if we can end this maturely.  

Tonight is his birthday, and although I was invited to join them if they (his roommates, etc) go out, its now 8:30, and haven't heard anything from him in several hours.  There are plenty of possible reasons for this:

1. They haven't gone out yet. 

2. He's decided it would be too awkward to hang out.

3. He's completely a flake, and hasn't realized he didn't text me with outting information.

4. His house got hit by an astroid, and they are all now just smoking piles of ashes, and can't call.

Reason #1 is most likely, with #3 right on its heals.  I realize it is only 8:30, but i'm an old lady (at 26) and don't process alcohol very well.  I'm actually not likely to be very fun.  And I'm not sure i could stand watching him hit on anyone else.  Apparently I'm jealous and insecure.  

So maybe he'll call.  and Maybe I'll stay home and watch a movie.  

and Maybe I'll just eat otterpops til i pass out... which might be soon.

-Lemon Out.