Mail to Male

So, I got the saddest little text from Ladder 20 the other day. it stated simply
"Please come home. :-("

It broke my poor heart. I've never considered driving three hundred miles just to give someone a hug until i read that message. I even made calls to find someone to carpool with me this past weekend, and unfortunately no one was available. It would have been great to see him, but it makes me think... what gestures can I make that don't make me look/feel like i'm throwing myself at a boy?

Can I travel several hundred miles for a surprise visit? As a girl, I've been tricked by this one before... what does a surprise visit mean? that you want more? or that you've just come for a visit? It can be awfully confusing, and not to mention he does work two jobs... would he have been able to take time off work? Surprises can be a bit of an inconvenience.

Can I send a care package? Again, what does this say? I would love to express how much i actually care, and want to cheer him up. Cookies? Brownies? a nice note? wrong time of the year/situation cards(i love sending the wrong card for any occasion)? I did procure his home address today with the excuse that i'm starting my christmas card address list, so perhaps a nice christmas card would be appropriate.

We've been texting, but it feels like i keep saying the same thing over and over. Plus it can be hard to get the right tone across in a text. I don't want to sound naggy when I want to sound cheerful! We don't really have a history of talking on the phone... so would that be weird?

Sometimes I feel a little burdened by other people's problems. Like its my responsibility to make their life better for them. I hate seeing my friends suffer, and i hate seeing them get burned out on life. Is it up to me to help Ladder 20 trudge through the every day? No, but I like knowing I can put a smile on his face or make him laugh. And I look forward to the upcoming day* when i can give him a hug!**

My optimism wins in the end, as it always does... for other people at least. But I suppose being convinced of everyone else's success and at the same time my impending failures is something to be saved for the shrink's couch. Or at least another day's freak out.

Lemon Out!

*I hope to make a visit east before the end of the year. The current budget isn't so sure this can happen though.

**Ladder told me that he put in two separate work outs today. I'm all for that! I love watching as scrawny kids turn into... MEN! mmmm firefighter muscles!