Moving Forward

So, I had updated on Tuesday of my Valentine's day successes, but I haven't given an overall update on life since the beginning of the year. It's about time, eh?

Work is driving me crazy. Nights are messing with my mental stability, and I've had two different clients make suicide attempts on my shifts in the past month. I've put in several new applications to various places, but no one calls me back. ever. I'm currently sitting on a couch 20 feet from a client who I am observing for safety for the night.

Things with PBR are going rather well. He got a puppy and has let me dog sit a few times. He continues to have a soccer dominated schedule, but as long as i continue with nights, i can't complain too much about that - we have similar schedules.

It's his birthday today. We are meeting his parents tomorrow evening for drinks. This is my first encounter with his parents. I got my tax refund this week, so i bought myself a new "meet the parents" outfit. And shoes. Super hot shoes.

I'm trying very hard not to be overly nervous about meeting his parents (my sister actually told me "don't freak out" this evening), but it still carries quite a bit of weight. WAY back in November when we had our big talk, he mentioned that he usually doesn't even tell his parents about the girls he dates, and they've learned not to ask.

A friend suggested we have a pep talk in the car before meeting up with the 'rents, and ask what is and is not appropriate for conversation. This will be helpful, since of the usual things you're not allowed to discuss in public (religion, politics, etc) I have a degree in. But since I met the kid (and his younger brother the year before) at church camp, religion might actually be appropriate.

I'm still working on getting him to meet my parents, but I haven't asked in a while.

I began seeing a counselor about three weeks ago. He has helped me see quite a bit of how my self worth affects my relationships. At first I was very nervous about seeing a man, but I think It will be very helpful in dispelling my awful view of men. We used the past week to discuss sexuality, and it was rather unawkward, believe it or not.

We are also looking at a bipolar diagnosis. I've called the clinic where I got my antidepressant rx, and will hopefully change to a medication more appropriate.

Other than the super depressing job with awful hours, I'm doing these days.

Only 3 more hours till i wake the kids, and 4 more after that till i get to go home.

Lemon waiting.