Yesterday evening PBR picked me up to head to game night. We got about 2 miles down the freeway (of our 30 mile trip) and he says "so, I need to have this conversation, and since we're sober, and you're stuck in my car for the next half hour..."
We had a huge conversation about boundaries. Lines were clearly drawn, grey area identified, and he wanted to emphasize that he's absolutely ok with living at my comfort level, and didn't want me to feel pressured to go beyond that. Funnily enough, he was pretty sure he was going to come off as the douche bag.
We then transitioned into talking about the relationship in general. I finally stated out loud that I'm in a place where I need to be 100% in or out, and that I want to start emotionally investing. He asked what exactly that means, and we again discussed labels. Apparently he hates them. He stated that he's not seeing anyone else, and not looking to either, so we agreed that we're being exclusive.
We agreed not to change facebook relationship statuses, talked about enjoying time together, but also time a part, the impending "meet my parents," and a whole slough of other topics.
We agreed that we need to have open communication, especially if we're going to attempt having an adult relationship (his words... maybe he gets a bit of leeway for the labels thing if he's gonna call this an adult relationship).
He brought up my depression, and he seemed to need reassurance that if things didn't work out, I wouldn't be broken beyond repair. Maybe at some point i need to point out that I don't expect him to fix me either.
As we approached our destination, I asked if anything had been officially decided upon. He laughed, and said "no... that's not how this works!"
you win some, you lose some.
Lemon Up
No comments:
Post a Comment