The Escalator

Now, as much as I like riding escalators: one of the few transportation devices that doesn't leave me motion sick, sadly I'm not talking about moving stairs. Also, I am constantly freaked out that a shoelace will get stuck in one eventually, and carnage will ensue... even when i'm not wearing shoes with laces. I think that's a different post tho: my many irrational fears.

I'm talking about the person who always takes it to the next level. This can be either frustrating or fun, depending on the situation and persons involved.

Example 1: The Frustrating Escalator:
I have a friend, and we'll call him the Apostle. Apostle struggles with social norms and boundaries to begin with. He's at least broken the habit of door lurking, but rarely recognizes the cues that the evening/event is over. Also, after lots of bruises it became clear that horseplay is not fun with the Apostle. You poke him, he punches you. You give a playful shove, he tackles you to the ground. You grab a wrist or arm, he suddenly has you in a half-nelson. Yuck.
The Apostle also has the tendency to be lacking in clear direction in his life, and has taken to attempting everyone else's hobbies, and buying better equipment for them. I buy a camera, he gets a better one. Mutual friend one takes up the banjo, he also buys one. Mutual friend 2 starts brewing beer, Apostle claims this is his next feat!
The Apostle is an escalator in the most obnoxious form... the kind with money.

Example 2: The Flirtatious Escalator:
Ladder 20 has also proven to be an escalator. I mean, the whole marriage started over my declaration of ability to play frisbee, and he declares his undying love and proposes marriage.
It may just be that the difference between an annoying person and a someone you intend to flirt with, is their ability to read surroundings, and know when things are appropriate.
Don't get me wrong, most of the texts I've received from Ladder aren't really fit to be read out loud, but they are appropriate in the sense that they fit the conversation we'd been having. He seems to know when to say things out loud, and when to text them, hasn't tried to strangle me, nor tried to break my nose while rough-housing. I appreciate this.
While Ex-CLBF always accused me of flirting with him (a non-escalator, if i've ever met one), Ladder takes the ball and runs! I say lets have kids, next day he says we have four; I say I'm glad he's a firefighter, he mentions the size of his hose, etc etc etc.

All in all, escalators can either make life a whole lot of fun, or rather stressful. Here's hoping I get to deal with more flirts!
Lemon Out!